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Budweiser United States
Like all shit-beer, the self-proclaimed "King of Beers" is only effective when consumed in copious quantities. Studies probably would reveal that guzzling Budweiser deteriorates the infinitesimal region of the brain that represses our primal proclivity towards such activities as tractor-pulling and niece-fondling. And let's get one rule straight - if you're going to devolve into a Bud binge, you may only drink the highly-carbonated crap from aluminum cans. Seriously, consuming Budweiser in bottles is laughable. If you're going to get dirty, get dirty like a real Strom Thurmond voter. Crush the cans on your sweaty forehead and throw the carcasses on the front lawn. In other news, the new "Be", which is notated like a substance from the periodic table of the elements, is Budweiser's entry into the "sports beer" category. Sold in energy drink canisters and containing ginsing and caffeine, it promises to have frat dudes breaking their noses withint twenty minutes or your money is returned. Read more articles in Beer Garden » |
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