loosie: words: Comic Capsules

Comic Capsules

Always looking out for the harried professional, Loosie recaps the day's funny pages for your convenience.

by Staff | 2003.01.02

Admit it. In your commitment to cable news and E-zines, you’ve been neglecting your old friends, the daily comic strips. And admit also that you’re a little bit self-centered: when you decide you need the comics, you’ll expect them to be there, just like Aunt Eloise and Bumpers, your childhood dog. Well, the comics have their own lives too, which go on without you. Here’s what you missed on Monday alone.

Garfield: Jon assures a mournful Garfield that the holiday visitors will return next year. Garfield is missing not the company, but the Christmas cookies, so his gloom remains.

Brenda Starr: Brenda lies unconscious where she has been thrown from her horse. She may have sustained a serious injury, but Brenda is collapsed in a provocative pose, showing off her considerable curves to great advantage.

Cathy: Cathy’s attempt to hold the line on calorie consumption takes another beating as she and her parents gorge out on previous rejected gift basket crackers. All three of them end up blissfully stuffed.

Blondie: Dagwood finds himself in the office of a podiatrist who seems to specialize in the treatment of children. The podiatrist begins Dagwood’s foot exam with the “this little piggie” nursery rhyme.

Ziggy: Poor Ziggy consults a cosmetic surgeon, who evidently sees him as a hopeless case. When she advises him to concentrate on inner beauty, Ziggy appears disappointed.

Doonesbury: Garry Trudeau surprisingly finds satiric humor in the U.S. government’s round-up of West Coast Arabs. At first, the brilliantly clever Trudeau leads you to believe that the situation is taking place in Iraq. Then he masterfully springs his trap, starting with the words, “just kidding about Iraq.”

Beetle Bailey: A recognized master of indolence, Beetle gives an army recruit a lesson in loafing. Beetle’s cap is pulled down over his eyes.

Peanuts Classics: Snoopy casts aside his mail in disappointment because he has received no love letters. He lies atop his dog house, with one black ear stretched halfway down the roof.

Dilbert: The pointy-haired boss advises Dilbert to create a boring “power point” demonstration. Dilbert does so, but Wally wickedly undermines the boss’s plans.

So much more happened, only yesterday. You should see the mischief that Heathcliff was up to, and the problems of Hagar. You need to know about Marmaduke and Dick Tracy and Shoe. You need to get involved, before it’s too late. Make that resolution, and keep it.